A Journey Worthwhile
by eppie
Summary: What might have happened if Fantine had gone back for Cosette. Actually updated!
1. An Unexpected Visitor

Author's Note:  I've never felt that there were enough Fantine stories out there, which both surprised and disappointed me, as she's always been one of my favorite characters in _Les Miserables_.  Thus, I began to write this not only for that reason, but also to explore what might have happened if…well, things had gone a bit differently.  These characters belong, of course, to the brilliant Victor Hugo, not me.  Please read and review!

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Chapter One                                                              

            "Answer the door, Cosette," Madame Thenardier growled when she heard a tentative knock at the door of the inn.

  Cosette hurriedly did as she was told so as to escape her mistress's wrath.  She involuntarily shivered when the door opened and the cruel winter wind threw itself at her.  After the initial shock of the cold had passed, she glanced at the woman standing outside who was staring at her in a most peculiar fashion.  There was the strangest combination of shock, sorrow, and, at the same time, a kind of bittersweet joy in her eyes as she looked at the emaciated child dressed in rags.  Cosette stared back at her, somehow held by her gaze, until she was roughly shoved aside by the Thenardieress. 

"Move aside, and let the lady in, can't you see it's cold out?" she snapped at Cosette.  "Please forgive me, Madame, for I've done my best to teach manners to this impudent little brat, but--" she stopped in mid-sentence, and her face became noticeably pale.

"I will ask you to kindly refrain from referring to my daughter that way," Fantine replied, her voice dripping with bitter enmity.  The look in her eyes was no longer difficult to decipher, for they were now hard and cold.

"I--well--eh..." the other woman stammered rather stupidly.

Fantine brushed by her coolly, looking extremely dignified despite the toll poverty had taken on her, and walked over to Cosette.  She knelt in front of her daughter and again seemed at a lost for words.  At long last she reached up to brush a strand of hair out of the little girl's face, but Cosette winced and drew back, unused to anything but the cruelty she had known for most of her short life.

At this, Fantine's eyes filled with tears.  _"Mon enfant," she whispered sadly.  __"Ma pauvre enfant."  _

            "I don't know what you expected," Madame Thenardier said, having regained her composure.  "You sent us barely enough to keep her alive, much less well fed and clothed."

            "I sent you everything I _had," Fantine replied angrily.  _

            With this as proof of Fantine's destitution, Madame Thenardier was no longer ashamed of the way Cosette appeared to her mother.  The innkeeper's wife had always felt a self-justified dominance over those less fortunate than herself, and so she now spoke to Fantine in a haughty manner.

            "Well, Madame, everything you had," she said mockingly, "was not enough.  Especially since this _brat," she spat the word out, purposely ignoring Fantine's earlier request, "is so very troublesome and too stupid to earn her keep."_

            Fantine's eyes blazed and her voice wavered.  "She should not have had to earn her keep.  She is a child!"  She rose to her feet.  "In any event, she will no longer be a 'trouble' to you, for I am taking her with me today."

            "You actually believe she will go with you?" Madame Thenardier sneered.  "When I am the only mother she knows?  Why, she would no sooner leave here with a stranger off the streets."  The Thenardieress noted the pained look in the other woman's eyes and smiled to herself.

            Silence filled the air as Fantine contemplated Madame Thenardier's words.  The shame and guilt she had always felt for not having her daughter with her had multiplied in only a few seconds.    Cosette would not find her life with the Thenardiers intolerable if it was the only life she could remember...if they were the only "parents" she could remember, Fantine thought.  _Besides, she said to herself, __she has no reason to trust me.  For all she knows--_

            These tormenting thoughts were interrupted when Fantine felt a tiny hand gingerly taking her own.  She looked down to see the little girl standing beside her, looking up at her with large, trusting eyes.  "I've missed you, _Maman."_


	2. Second Thoughts

Chapter Two

Fantine sat against the tree, trying to stop shivering so as not to wake Cosette who was nestled in her arms, wrapped in her mother's threadbare coat.  The day grew colder every moment until Fantine began to fear that both her and the child would freeze to death.  She had not considered how long of a journey this would be for a child of six; she had not considered anything except for the fact that she had to get Cosette away from the Thenardiers.  Yet, she couldn't help but wonder if her daughter would not be better off with them now. 

            She tried to stop this flow of frightening, worrisome thoughts, these thoughts that were so futile.  Besides, she decided, it was too cold to be able to think rationally.  She should have done that beforehand.

            It was a dream that had led her to Montfermeil.  A nightmare which she could not remember once she awoke--the only remnant of the dream had been an anxious need to see her daughter again and make sure that all was well with her.  She had not intended to even tell Cosette who she was, much less take her...she had only wanted to be certain of Cosette's happiness.  But what Fantine had found had greatly horrified her, as it would have horrified any mother who cared for her child.  She had rescued Cosette from slavery and abuse, but to what was she subjecting her?  


	3. The Stranger

Chapter Three

At long last, Fantine slept, although probably due more to near hypothermia then general fatigue.  She was awakened by the voice of a stranger.

            "Madame?"

            The single word shattered the icy silence of the winter evening, and startled Fantine.  She looked up to see a well-to-do gentleman standing before her, and, thinking she had trespassed, quickly stood.

            "I did not know this was your property, M'sieur," she said.  "I am sorry.  We will go now, and be no trouble to you."  She began to walk away, and was stopped by his words as if he had grabbed her.

            "You will not leave," he said conversationally, his tone contradicting his words.

            "I--I will not?" Fantine repeated, frightened.  Surely he would not have her arrested for such a small transgression.

            He shook his head.  "You are aware that there is not another house, much less an inn, for many miles, regardless of which direction you are traveling?"

            "I am, M'sieur," Fantine replied quietly, unsure of what he was getting at.

            "So, am I to assume that you were planning to sleep outdoors tonight?"

            His tone was slightly mocking, and at this, Fantine took offense.  Yet, she did not want to anger the gentleman.  "It was not planned, M'sieur," she replied wearily.  She was too tired and cold to go into further detail.

            He smiled at her, and suddenly became much less frightening.  "It is my opinion that nothing worthwhile is ever planned."  He paused.  "Do you find your journey to have been worthwhile, despite the lovely weather we're having?"

            Fantine looked at Cosette, who was now awake, and smiled.  "Yes," she said, "I do."

            "That's good to hear," he replied sincerely.  "But for whatever reason you're making this trip, it can't be worth dying for, and you're certain to freeze to death if you stay out here tonight.  You're welcome to stay at my home for the night.  I hope that's not an indecent proposal?"  His eyes were full of laughter and warmth, and Fantine irrelevantly thought about how the night didn't seem quite so cold anymore.


	4. Mistakes

"My name is Henri, by the way," the man told her as they walked to his house.

"I am Fantine," she replied, "and this is my daughter, Cosette." Cosette, who had become restless and thus was now walking alongside her mother, shyly buried her face in Fantine's skirt.

Henri, sensing the child's bashfulness, suddenly stopped and knelt down in front of her. "Mademoiselle, it is a tremendous honor to make your acquaintance." With this, he lifted the little girl's hand to his lips, and Cosette giggled. Fantine smiled, grateful to Henri for getting Cosette to laugh. It was the first laughter she had heard from the child, and it was reassuring to her.

Henri stood and looked at Fantine for a moment, then said, "It is a pleasure to meet you, as well," except this time, there was a peculiar seriousness in his tone. In his eyes were a depth and tenderness that Fantine had seen before, although at first she could not remember where...but then, all at once, it came to her, and she looked away abruptly, the smile quickly vanishing from her face.

Félix Tholomyes...she had not thought of him for so long, for his memory was too painful for her, but suddenly he was forced back into her mind. Félix had looked at her like that once, and she had believed that his eyes had held a promise that could never be put into words. Because of that unspoken promise, she had given him everything. And then, he had broken the promise...as if it had never meant anything to him. But, of course, it hadn't. She had simply mistaken lust for love—a schoolboy's amusement for true love. A costly mistake, one both she and Cosette had paid for dearly.

She turned to look at Henri once again, and almost laughed aloud. How silly of her, to think that a man she had only met could offer her this same promise...she had probably only imagined it all. But still, she told herself that she must be careful. Right then, she made a solemn promise to herself. She would not allow this to happen. She would not be hurt again...for she feared that the second time would kill her.

"Are you alright?" Henri asked, bringing Fantine out of her reverie.

She realized that she was shaking, and quickly thought of a plausible excuse. "Oh, yes, just a bit cold."

"How thoughtless of me!" he exclaimed, embarrassed. With that, he removed his overcoat and draped it over her shoulders. "You must be freezing by now."

She smiled gratefully but distractedly, a smile that did not quite reach her eyes. For her own sake…and for Cosette's, she could never again place her life and that of her daughter's at the mercy of a man's whim.


End file.
